


Woes Of A Bloodsucker

by haruharu143



Series: Woes Of A Bloodsucker [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 08:21:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11309472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haruharu143/pseuds/haruharu143
Summary: Just some humans and their dumb vampires.





	Woes Of A Bloodsucker

**Author's Note:**

> Title: WOES OF A BLOODSUCKER  
> Genre: Fluff, Crack, AU, Drabbles  
> Rating: PG-13  
> Length: One-Shot Scenarios/Drabbles  
> Characters: Xiumin& Luhan, Yixing & Jongdae, EXO  
> Pairing: mainXiuHan,main XingDae, other exo otps  
> Warning: unbetaed, dicks & swear swords, dumb vampires

When Luhan bought those onyx stud earrings & those Cartier love set (both in a custom-made stainless steel because silver is a big NO), he was thinking how beautiful Xiumin would look with nothing but those on, the sparkles of those jewelries accentuating Xiumin’s milky white skin, sweating under the moonlight and his powerful thrusts.

He can still envision Xiumin’s pliant body that first night and those wonderful nights that followed.

He never thought that it would backfire at him at some point. He also never thought that Xiumin will get an idea out of those gifts he gave on their anniversary.

But most importantly, he never thought that Xiumin has the gall to wear those hideous earrings and bracelet and hiss at him like an angry cat, a very cute ball of fury at that. 

And all he can do is to stand some 5 meters away because Xiumin is wearing those silver weapons of vampire destruction. He was trying to remember what he did wrong but came nothing. Time to settle this problem once and for all.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Don’t ‘baby’ me!” He can count in his fingers how many times have Xiumin shouted at him, and this was the first.

He’s manly and vampires don’t pout but Xiumin have that effect on him ever since, the only human that can make the great Han of the Lu clan feel like he’s a child, not a hundred and some years old leader of the Chinese vampires.

“Can you take those things off so we can talk?”

“No! I will wear this until you and your fucking dick learn your lesson!”

“What’s wrong with my dick?”

(“All of it.”  
“You do know that Luhan can hear you right, baobei?”  
“Since when did I care?”  
“Never, coz you know I’m here to take all his punishments.”  
“And I always reward you afterwards, aren’t I?”)

He ignored those snickers coming from the kitchen and focused on Xiumin’s teary eyes. He wanted to hug and comfort his human but those silver jewelries made it impossible to do so.

“Baozi, please tell me what’s wrong?” the pet name always do the trick.

“Don’t call me that! I’m gonna be like a real life dumpling and it’s all your damn fault!” Or maybe not.

“Oh babe, c’mon...” He’s not whining. He’s pleading. The two were different.

“I told you to pull out your fucking dick but what did you do, huh?!? You came inside me so now I’m pregnant, you piece of shit!”

Oh. “B-but that was one time...”

(One time, big time.)

He not sure if that was Jongdae who was still in the kitchen with Yixing or Kyungsoo who was busy watching Jongin, his human, bathing his dogs. All he’s sure was that hormones & vampire induced pregnancy is a deadly combination for there were a pair of silver cufflinks flying towards him before he pass out.

(It was an hour after when Luhan woke up to a sight of onyx earrings and Cartier bracelet adorning Xiumin’s wrist as he cards his fingers on Luhan’s hair, not aware that the vampire was already awake. And when Luhan remember what transpired a while ago, he can’t help but smile and reach for Xiumin’s nape to pull him down for a kiss. Xiumin’s pregnancy was a welcome surprise but the burning sensation on his lips was another matter. 

He can’t even remember when Xiumin had the time to go out and got piercing on his tongue, of all places. 

"It was Yixing’s human’s fault, he’s sure of it." His mind screams as he blacked out the second time.)

**Author's Note:**

> Based from a tumblr post that goes like this:  
> *A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe, c’mon”.  
> And this:  
> *Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help...” Human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors.
> 
> And I'm getting my shit writing back together.


End file.
